I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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