I met the friendliest cop last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize