I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
