Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
