I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And then he peed in my hair
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