I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
she told me i tasted like america
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize