If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
