shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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