Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize