Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i came on her dog
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize