I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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