My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
