Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
BRING THE BAGELS
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
