It's like a parade of train wrecks.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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