Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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