i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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