This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
