she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
