they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
