I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
