Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize