i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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