Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
