what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
