A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
