dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
