Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
