Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
