I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
