I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
