weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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