i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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