That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
