there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
this boner is exhausting
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
