just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
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