I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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