hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
