I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
