I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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