he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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