Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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