It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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