he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I understand Curling. That high.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
