This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
it hurts more in the daytime
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
