Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
