Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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