I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
