I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Fuck appropriateness.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
