I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
