So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
