Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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