my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize