I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
