I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
