Say something about gay babies.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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