So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
