You smell like stripper and shame
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
