I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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