Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What drink are we having for lunch?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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