I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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