then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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