Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
