I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
and you fell through a lawn chair
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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