I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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