All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
foreskin is a definite game changer
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
