I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize