(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
