he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize