I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize