he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
