Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So squirting runs in the family.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
