Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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